How to play League of Legends: Shen, the I-do-what-I-want Ninja

Dec. 25, 2013

How to play League of Legends: Shen, the I-do-what-I-want Ninja

In the game of League of Legends, people typically have roles that they do. There are the Marksmen that sit in the back and shoot at people, the bruisers that deal damage while being tanky, the tanks that just plain take on the entire team, the mages that deal magic damage and debuff the enemies, so on and so forth. With their roles sending them to their corresponding lanes. Tanks and bruisers up top, marksmen and support at bottom, mages and assassins in the middle. Most champions in the game are stuck into one or two of theses roles and can’t really do much else. You aren’t going to see the small girl with the little ice bow(Ashe) go up against giant bruisers that could slaughter her in a second.

But then there is Shen.

Shen is a special type of person. He is a ninja. And as such, he is not limited to such petty things like “roles” and “lanes”. You want to go top as him? He has an ability that gives him health back when he hits a target based on his maximum health, a shield, and an ability that deals extra damage based on his health. So you can contend with any bruiser that goes up there. You want to jungle? Sure, the above abilities let him do that also. You want to go middle as a mage? Sure! His abilities scale with ability power! You want to go support!? He have a move that dashes to a target and taunts them, forcing the target to hit him while someone else can beat on them constantly. Plus, his healing moves makes it so that any ally that hits the target gets healed as well! You wish to ADC? Go ahead! He could solo that bottom lane all day long, since higher attack speed activates the move that does bonus damage based on health faster! HE IS EVERYTHING!!!!!!

Which is why he is a ninja.

Now, when you play him, most people shall tell you that “no, Shen is only a tank person. Stop building [insert name of any item that isn’t tanky] on him!” So I had to personally show each of them that Shen, unlike what they think, does whatever the hell he wants. And builds, whatever the hell he wants. And uses his abilities, however the hell he wants. Whatever. The hell. He wants.

Now per usual in a game of League, right as I find a match, every single position is filled except either support or jungle(which junglers are pretty much just suppose to be supports that hurt a lot more). So I choose to help the team by going as the jungler, even though Shen can be a bit slow at jungling and cannot help every lane when it needs help. But surely, my teammates, being the completely reasonable people they are, will understand the slow start of Shen and how I can’t perform successful ganks until I at least have my taunt?

A mere 5 minutes into the game, the top lane dies horribly. Right after the death, I see this from my teammate.

Garen: no ganks on top yet. this jungler

Shen(me obviously): It’s 5 minutes in. Calm yourself.

Garen: the enemy jungler has ganked twice already

Shen: Your Garen. Spin to win with Sunfire Cape.

Mere minutes later, I see the person in the middle lane get killed. Now, keep in mind, I am on the other side of the map, in the enemies jungle, stealing their jungle so that they get behind. It is pretty dangerous to do and requires a combination of timing and luck.

Anivia: Jungler hasnt ganked a single lane lol

Shen: I have ganked top once and bottom twice.

Anivia: Some shitty ganks

Shen: That is it. You die again, I am confiscating your lane from you in the name of all that is ninja.

Didn’t get a response after that. I naturally assumed I intimidated her so badly she dared not to touch the keyboard in reply to me. Or she was just facepalming at my stupidity. One or the other.

At around the 15 minute mark, Anivia dies. At no surprise to anyone. At this point I had my boots and some tankiness to me, so I was pretty confident when I said this to Anivia.

Shen: That is it! Get out of mid lane, it’s mine now. The time for the mage ninja is at hand.

No response from the Anivia. As I enter into the lane, I catch the enemy off guard and kill them, since they were at low health from killing the Anivia. This gave me just enough money to start building towards the important items that a true hybrid like me needs to buy. So, I go back and acquire an item for ability power. While I am back at the shop, I notice that the Garen up top has, yet again, pushed to far and was being ganked. By three people, no less. Now, for all who don’t know, Shen has an interesting ultimate ability. He can click on an ally, and they will instantly gain a large shield. You will then channel for a few seconds, and suddenly appear at their side. This is great for helping people quite far away that are about to die and have no escape options. It can also surprise an enemy, as you pop out of literally no where to help with a fight they thought would be a one on one. But, because of this, the Shen ult is a precious thing. It must not be wasted, for it has great potential for securing kills and protecting teammates. A wasted Shen ult is a tragedy. This is what I am thinking as I watch the Garen run for his life. Running, running, running, so close to the turret, aaaannnddd………dead. I could already tell what was about to happen.

Shen: Let me guess

Garen: why the fck didnt u ult me?

Shen: Your death was the junglers fault right? Knew it.

Garen: yeah, cause you didn’t ult me

Shen: I’d rather ult the minion than ult you.

This was replied with words that if I said in the article, the admins would ban me.

After my brief depression upon figuring out that I cannot, in fact, ult the minions, I left my middle lane to claim conquest on the top lane. The entire time I was in mid lane, the Anivia decided that bottom lane was her safe haven. I had some brief, angry words with Garen, before he submitted to the power that is Shen and went to mid lane. I was barely there for a moment before I notice that a fight is about to happen bottom lane. The ad carry on our team is nearly going to die. So, mustering all of my courage, I teleported to adc with my ult to save them from the four man gank. But, of course, the team would disregard me and rush after my adc. So I did the ultimate Shen sacrifice……..I used my taunt to dash through the entire enemy team.

Short to say, I died immediately after. I quickly type into the all chat for the enemy team to see, “I DIED FOR MEH COUNTRY!!!” and proceed to keep building the items that will make me do absurd amounts of damage while being tanky. Sadly, due to the death of the only person on the team doing damage, the enemy team comes in and nearly wins, leaving us with no turrets and the adc of their team about to kill the base. Everyone else has recalled back. She is alone. It is Shen’s time to shine! I run straight into her, taunt her, and by the time my taunt has ended, one auto-attack kills her. I then go cry in a corner about how the Shen is the only person doing damage on the team.

[all]Shen: Can I join your guys team? I promise I won’t brutally murder your ad carries any more.

[all]Enemy Aatrox: No. you killed me and took my jungle. i can never forgive you.

[all]Shen: 1v1 me brah!

[all]Enemy Jinx: awwwwww snap, he challenged you

[all]Enemy Aatrox: Fine! Meet at baron nasher. No team mates

[all]Shen: A deal it is then.

After waltzing over to Baron, I sit there and wait for the Aatrox to arrive, simply dancing alongside Baron Nasher to keep me entertained. Soon enough, he arrives, and we stare each other down in the river.

[all]Enemy Darius: All right you bitches, on the count of three, attack each other. no interfering from either team!

The tension arises.

[all]Enemy Darius: One!

My palms are at the ready.

[all]Enemy Darius: Two!

Moms spaghetti.

……………………………………………..

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I suppose this is the part you expect he would say three. But out of the bush, like the tiny-headed wonder boy he is, comes my teammate Garen, straight diving onto Aatrox, spinning like a top. Like every Garen does. And of course, be bought Sunfire Cape. Like every Garen does.

After the enemy team promptly brutalizes Garen, they return to base and come back to where I am, while I have just been sitting there dancing the entire time. The duel is started up again, and me and Aatrox begin our fight! Despite all odds, logic, and reasoning, I 1v1’d the Aatrox and lived! But, then I forgot that Aatrox’s passive revives himself, so he promptly killed me right after.

[all]Shen: Zombies over powered.

Short to say we lost after that, as none of our team mates could withstand pretty much anyone on the enemy team. So that, people, is how you play Shen. You start up a game of League of Legends, get psyched up to play, then realize you hate your team mates and do not give one single bother as to what you are “suppose” to do.

Remember kiddos, never, ever, ever tell the jungler what to do. Or the support. They are the most important people in the match. And thus, can troll you so hard you’ll put your fist through your monitor. I have legitimately had someone say “I helped you get your blue buff at the start of the game. So your jungle is mine now”. Bish, all of the jungle is Shen’s jungle. The enemies jungle is Shen’s jungle. And when you do bad in your lane, that is the junglers(preferably Shen’s) lane.

And if any of you are insane enough to try to repeat what I did,here is the build I used to accomplish said trollery.

Remember the rules of the build. Go wherever you want, do whatever you want, build whatever you want, ult whoever you want. And most importantly. Don’t. Give. A. F#ck.

Featured image via duowan.com